Insecure
by CallMeAddicted
Summary: Another Friday night for the kids of Bayside High. Jessie's feeling a bit insecure about her place in Lisa's life. How will the usually confident girl overcome her two biggest vices: insecurity and irrationality?


**AN: Hey all! This is the second in my Friday series. A series of Friday night happenings in the lives of the students of Bayside High. StephieMarie23 requested I continue my last SBTB story; I figured maybe I'd do something like a series. Hope you all like!**

* * *

Jessie enjoyed the feel of supple flesh beneath her fingertips as she crept her way up the brown-skinned girl's sweater. Lisa was smooth and soft plushy and she wanted to feel more, but this was as far as she'd been permitted to go. Still, without meaning to push the boundary, her thumb snuck past the band of the shorter girl's jeans, eliciting a squirm and a sigh which warmed her lips. She grinned and Lisa pulled back.

"You're not following the rules," Lisa shook her head.

"I couldn't help myself. Are you going to punish me?" the blonde teased in return.

"As a matter of fact, I am." Lisa pushed herself up from her position on top of Jessie and stood from the small sofa in her bedroom. As she fixed her clothes up, Jessie took the opportunity to sit up and straighten out her own clothing.

"So what time is the show tonight?" the blonde looked up.

Tonight was opening night for the school play. Lisa had tried out and gotten the lead. She had been so excited to get the role, she'd quit cheerleading just to participate in the play. Judging by the small bits of rehearsal Jessie had snuck into and seen, tonight was going to be a great night for her girl, and possibly the beginning of a dream.

"Curtain goes up at 8:05 sharp. I know you have to pick up Zack but please don't be late; the beginning is one of the best scenes."

"I know, I asked him to be ready and standing in front of his house by 7:15. We'll be there."

"Good. So I'll see you then." Lisa glanced at the clock, "I want to go home and shower first, then maybe get the school a little early to run lines. I'm really nervous, and excited. I honestly don't know what the feel first."

Leaning forward, Jessie reached out and grabbed Lisa by wrist, pulling the girl down to straddle her lap. "You're nervous because you're about to get on stage and show the world how awesome you are and that's a nerve-wracking thing to do. And you're right to be excited because this is the first opportunity of many to do what you love. So enjoy all those feelings you've got going on, and when opening night is over and you need to blow off some steam, come find me." She grinned again at her own smoothness and accepted an unhurried kiss from her girlfriend.

"Do you ever run out of sweet things to say?"

"Not when you keep inspiring me," she replied with a smile, earning her a laugh in return.

"I've got to run, but you can tell me more sweet things later."

"Okay," she nodded, releasing Lisa to gather her bag and keys.

Before closing the door to her bedroom, the other girl smiled and waved. Jessie still couldn't believe the course of events from that Friday night at Lisa's house until now. It hadn't been very long yet seemed like they'd been together forever. She walked over to the window sill to watch Lisa get in her car, only the girl hadn't gotten into it yet.

Eric had gotten home, it seemed, just as Lisa was heading out. Her very much un-esteemed step-brother was here for the next month, as his mother had decided to take an extra- long vacation without him. She couldn't really blame the woman, though she wished she didn't have to suffer through an entire month of Eric's escapades.

Watching as Lisa waited to greet Eric, Jessie frowned. She didn't like the idea of him being anywhere near her friends, much less her secret girlfriend. Everything he touched turned to shit and she absolutely didn't need him getting his hands (so to speak) on her newest relationship.

When Eric got out of the car he lit up seeing Lisa's smile. The girl excitedly waved him over and extended her arms to hug him. He whispered something to her and she playfully hit him and laughed in response. Jessie wanted to fling a lamp out of the window. They talked for about two more minutes before Eric walked Lisa to her car, opened the door for her and then closed it. He ran back up to the house with a goofy grin on his face that made his step-sister want to slap him silly.

It was only a few moments after the front door slammed that Jessie's bedroom door flung open, Eric grinning in the door way.

"Hey there, sis! I ran into Lisa. She's looking pretty good."

She actually did throw something at him now: a pillow. "Stay away from my friends, especially Lisa!"

"Especially Lisa, huh? Why is that? She's cool, we get along great. I like hanging out with her."

"If you go near her I will make your life hell for as long as you're here. Don't try me."

Eric didn't respond right away, he just smiled. "Jealous?"

Her eyes widened; he looked at her as if he knew what was going on between Lisa and Jessie, but he couldn't have because only Zack knew, and Zack definitely wouldn't tell Eric anything like that. Before she could shake off those thoughts, he chuckled.

"I think I'll ask her out again. Think she'll say yes after the last time with the whole car accident debacle?" Before Jessie had the chance to lunge at him, he turned and ran down the stairs. She quickly followed after him.

They both reached the end of the stairs and slid into the foyer when Jessie's mom came in, struggling with a few grocery bags.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is going on in here?"

"Nothing," Eric quickly replied. He kissed his step-mom on the cheek and took the bags out of her hands. "Let me help you with these. Did you get those little pizza bagels?" He headed into the kitchen, leaving Jessie and her mom alone.

"Mom, he's a living nightmare. Tell him to stop intruding on me and my friends!"

"Jessie, your step-brother is a very sensitive boy, though he may not show it. His mother practically ran off and dumped him here. He doesn't have any friends. The least you can do is try to help him fit in. Maybe if you let him interact more with you and your friends he'll learn to behave better around them."

Jessie sighed; she knew this was a losing argument. Her mother may have a point, but why did _she_ have to play babysitter?

"Just give it a try for me. Hey, why don't you invite Eric to go to the play with you tonight? I'm sure Lisa would love to see him; they seem to get along well." With that little bomb dropped, her mother walked in the direction of the kitchen. Jessie heard her bring up the topic of the school play to Eric, who of course was eager to go agree for the sake of annoying the hell out of Jessie.

 _"_ _Jessie, come help Eric put away the groceries!"_ she heard from the kitchen. She literally growled before marching into the back of the house. This was setting up to be an awful Friday night.

* * *

"Hey, was that Lisa's mom speeding out of the parking lot?" Slater asked as they entered the auditorium. The black Mercedes flew swiftly by Jessie's car just as she'd found a parking spot.

"Yeah," the blonde replied. "I think she's on call tonight. Must have gotten paged by the hospital. Lisa's going to be disappointed."

"Yeah. Well at least the play's running for two weekends. Maybe she'll catch closing night."

The sounds of the school's orchestra tuning up their instruments filled the air. Jessie, Zack, Slater, Screech, and Kelly stood in the aisle rather than taking their seats. If they were going to sit for the next few hours, it was probably best to stand for a bit. Hovering awkwardly behind his step-sister, Eric cleared his throat obnoxiously.

"As if I could forget you standing there," Jessie mumbled. "Guys, I'm sure you all remember Eric. He'll be staying with us for a bit. Unfortunately I'm responsible for walking him, training him, and cleaning up his messes…"

He reddened a bit, but quickly shook it off. "What's up, guys?" The unenthusiastic response he received from the gang caused him to withdraw slightly.

After about ten minutes of idle chatter, the sounds of the tuning instruments waned and the lights dimmed. The friends took their seats in anticipation of the show. As the curtains drew back to their full extent and applause overtook the room, Jessie and the gang awed at how unlike herself their friend appeared. She was in character, after all, but with the help of some stage makeup, costuming, lighting and surprisingly good acting skills, she was unrecognizable.

The play was really good. It was easy to fall into the story and lose track of time and reality, which is why Jessie found herself suddenly standing in ovation at the end of the play. She cheered loudly for her girlfriend at curtain call. Despite all the love and support the friends all gave, she could still sense Lisa's disappointment at her mother's absence. The actress did a pretty good job of hiding it, but Jessie could see.

What Jessie also noticed, though it happened in a flash, was how Lisa's smile got just a bit brighter when she spotted Eric among the group. Jealously instantly overtook the taller girl. Irrational thoughts invaded her mind space. _Maybe she likes him more than me and I was just a place holder until he came back. She's not really even into girls and this was all just an experiment._ It's not that the thoughts in her mind actually made sense, but inadequacy was always Jessie's devil. It's why she worked so hard at everything she did. It's why she was an overachiever. It's why she always had to go farther and do better. But competing with her bad-ass, adventurous step-brother was a challenge she didn't know how to navigate. So she ran. Literally, Jessie ran out of the auditorium, out of the building and straight to her car.

She hadn't realized that Zack was hot on her tail, and when she got into the car, turned on the ignition and put the car in reverse, she was startled that the blonde boy had jumped into the passenger's seat before she finished pulling out of the parking space. But she continued her escape anyway, backing all the way out and driving out of the parking lot.

"Jessie, what the hell! Where are you going?"

"She likes Eric. And he likes her. I basically don't even exist anymore."

"What? Who likes Eric?"

"Lisa! Did you see the way they looked at each other?"

"No, and slow down! Turn around."

"I just needed to get out of there. Zack, do you think Lisa likes him more than me? Be honest."

"Honestly?" she nodded her head and glanced over at him. "I think you're being an overemotional chick and putting way too much thought into what was probably a completely innocent smile or something."

"An _overemotional chick?!"_

"I don't know how girls date each other; it seems so stressful. When me and Slater have issues, we argue, we say what we need to say, then we get over it."

She fixes him with an incredulous glare, at a complete loss of response to that.

"Alright, really though," he backtracks, "I think you're just a little jealous because they have slight history and you're making it worse than it actually is."

"Do you think she really likes me?"

"Yes."

"Do you think she likes him?" He hesitates in answering. "Well?"

"Ehh, I don't know. No? Maybe? Look, I think you definitely need to talk to Lisa about this. And also, you need to go back. We just left everyone. You left your brother –"

" _Step-_ brother," she corrected.

"Whatever. Just turn around."

"Sorry I dragged you with me."

"Well technically I jumped onto the crazy train."

She took a moment to reflect and laughed at the craziness of the situation. It was a little silly of her to have reacted in such a way. Nothing actually happened. Even if she had seen what she thought she saw, there were other ways the shared looks between Eric and her girlfriend could have been interpreted, right?

They seemed to have gotten stopped at every red light on the way back. The drive back took twice as long as the quick getaway and a half hour had gone by. When they arrived back on school grounds, the parking lot had cleared significantly. There were only a few stray cars. She parked and they jumped out of the car.

The auditorium was the first place they'd checked, as that's where they'd last seen everyone. Unfortunately, the only person left was Screech, who was lying face down on the floor with a small flashlight in his hand.

"Hey Screech," Zack called out. "Where'd everyone go?"

The nerdy kid rolled over and looked up. "Well when you guys left, we figured our plans to hang out were scrapped. Slater drove Kelly home and Lisa walked home with Eric."

"They walked?" Jessie questioned. "Didn't she drive her car?"

"She said her mom drove her but she'd planned to catch a ride with one of us after the play."

The tall girl nodded her head at his explanation. She'd felt guilty now for ditching the other girl, not so much for ditching Eric. "Hey Screech, what exactly are you doing?"

"Looking for loose change, duh!"

"You have fun with that," Zack said. "We'll catch you later."

With that, the two blondes left the building in search of their other halves.

* * *

As Jessie came to a stop in front of Zack's house, they noticed Slater's car was parked on the other side of the street. The athlete, too, was parked on Zack's front porch. His head leaned against the column and it seemed he was asleep; he was snoring after all. They'd stopped at Lisa's house first to see if she had gotten home. Her car was there, but she wasn't. No lights were on except the front porch light and there was no response when Jessie had rang the bell.

"Thanks for the ride, Jess. Maybe call me in the morning, let me know what happens."

"No problem. You'd better get "Bubba" into the house before the coyotes mistake his howling for an invitation."

"You're right." The boy exited the car and jogged up the walkway. He waved his friend off once he reached the porch.

The drive home was quiet; Jessie opted to forgo the radio and just gather her thoughts. She knew now how stupid she'd been tonight. She probably ruined her girlfriend's opening night when she should have just been playing her role as loving, supportive girlfriend. More importantly, she knew she'd be in the dog house for a while. She'd let jealousy and insecurity get the best of her and behaved like a brat. She laughed to herself because Lisa liked to tease her for being a brat. She couldn't help that she only wanted what she wanted, when and how she wanted it and got upset when life threw a monkey wrench in her plans. But somehow, this trait that most would find off-putting, the bubbly girl found endearing.

She pulled up to her house and parked in the driveway. Her mom's car was here, but her step-dad's car wasn't. Then she remembered they'd gone out for "date night." She locked her car and walked up the front steps, struggling to find her house key because she hadn't put the key cover that her mom bought her on it yet and all the keys looked similar. She made a mental note to do something about that later.

Entering the house, she noted that most of the lights were off; the only light in the house came from the small light by the kitchen pantry and the light from the television in the living room. _Oh yeah, Eric_ , she thought. Jessie walked back into the living room and saw Eric sitting on the floor with a bowl of Captain Crunch. What surprised her, however, was Lisa sitting on the sofa, her feet tucked underneath her, staring blankly at the screen.

"Hi," Jessie said quietly as she walked further into the room.

"Oh hey, long time no see," Eric replied sardonically. "He set his bowl down and walked out of the room in the direction of the kitchen."

It was awkwardly silent for a few moments, except the sounds of whatever stupid show was on the screen. But Jessie spoke first, "Lisa, I'm sorry for leaving the way I did."

"You should go talk to your brother," was the only thing she said.

"He's not my –"

Lisa raised a single eyebrow and looked solemnly at her. "I won't talk to you until you talk to him first."

Sighing, she turned around and made her way toward the kitchen, "Fine."

"I'm just going to come right out and say it," the blonde blurted when she entered the kitchen. "I'm an idiot."

"You're gay…" Eric spoke at the same time as Jessie.

"What? No, that's not –"

"It's not true?"

She blushed for a second but mumbled, "It's true. But it's not what I was going to say. Look, Eric, I'm sorry for tonight and for how I've treated you. I can be pretty stupid sometimes."

"That's true too," he said.

"Yeah… So, I'm sorry."

"Did Lisa tell you to apologize to me?" he asked, opening the refrigerator to find a drink.

"I intended to apologize, but she wouldn't speak to me unless I spoke with you first." Jessie considered her next words carefully; she had to ask a question but wasn't quite sure she wanted the answer. "What's going on with you and Lisa?"

"What?" her step-brother looked up from his current task.

"I know you kind of have history, but is there more going on? Do you like her?"

"Yeah, I think she's cool and she's the only one of your friends that doesn't clutch their wallet when I walk into a room."

"Do you like her as more than a friend, Eric?"

"Why, are you jealous?"

She didn't know how to answer that: revealing the truth – that she actually was jealous – would be an admission that something was going on between she and Lisa, and they hadn't ever discussed telling anyone yet.

But it seemed Eric already knew the truth, so she admitted, "Yeah, a little. I see the way she looks at you. She's always so happy to see you and I wonder if she feels something for you, like more than a friend."

"Well that's something you'd have to ask Lisa, but believe it or not, I respect boundaries. And I respect your relationship. I'd even support it if you gave me a chance. I don't like her like that. We're friends. She gets me. And I don't have many other people to talk to around here."

"I guess I can live with that."

"Hey, from what I can tell, she really likes you. You may think she lights up when she sees me, but she lights up even more when she sees you. I'm just a good friend. But you're something much more to her – I can tell."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Do Mom and Dad know?"

Jessie smiled. Maybe Eric hadn't noticed that he'd called their parents 'Mom and Dad' but it was the first time he'd referred to them as that. "We haven't really told anyone. Zack knows because he walked in on us once, but that's it."

"Well as my first official good-brother act, I'm glad to keep your secret, for as long as it's a secret."

"Thanks."

"I think I'm gonna head to my room and give you and your girlfriend some alone time."

"Good night."

He heads out of the kitchen leaving Jessie with some words of advice as he goes, "Be safe, use protection…"

"Shut up, Eric," she chuckles. The blonde takes a moment to think about what she's going to say to Lisa before heading out of the kitchen herself.

Entering the living room once more, Jessie thought to herself that Lisa must be willing to hear out and forgive her, evidenced by the fact that she still here, in Jessie's living room, waiting for her to finish her conversation with her brother. That was a good sign.

The shorter girl was still basically in the same position on one end of the couch, so Jessie climbed onto the couch behind Lisa, wiggling her way into a comfortable position where her girlfriend could nestle between her legs and lean back on her chest. She wrapped an arm around Lisa and continued her apology tour.

"I'm so sorry I ruined your opening night. You were amazing in the play and I wanted so much to be there for you afterward to tell you how great you were, but because I think too much, and I can be pretty idiotic sometimes, I ran away. I'm also sorry that you and Eric had to walk home."

She didn't get much of a reply from the smaller girl except a brief "Keep going…"

"I was jealous and insecure. I see how close you and Eric are and sometimes it makes me wonder if you like him more than me; and you have the option to be with him, why would you choose me?"

At that, Lisa turned her body more to face Jessie. "What makes you think I like Eric romantically?"

"You guys are pretty close, and you talk a lot, and you have history."

"We went on a date once, that's not _history._ He's a sweet guy but I knew I didn't like him like that ten minutes into that one date. We just have a lot in common and he's easy to talk to."

"It's just that whenever you see him, you get this look on your face like you're really excited to see him."

"I am really excited to see him, because he's not here often and we're friends."

"I know that now. I just had a very long moment of self-doubt and I reacted."

"Well next time you need to talk to me first before flying off the handle," Lisa scolded.

"I will."

"And remember that you're not the only strong-minded, opinionated woman in this relationship; if I didn't want to be with you, I wouldn't be."

Jessie grinned, "Okay."

"And if you ever leave me stranded again, forcing me to walk home in three-inch heels, I _will_ break up with you."

"Noted."

Lisa turned back toward the television and relaxed against the taller girl. As she flipped the channels on the television, looking for something suitable to watch, she felt Jessie inching closer to kiss her cheek and that spot behind her ear that makes her squirm.

"We're not making out on your sofa; you're on time out."

"Time out?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"Until I say so."

Ignoring the rules of time out, Jessie twisted her body slightly to be more in line with Lisa and leaned in to kiss her.

"Just for that," Lisa whispered, "you get another hour added to your time-out."

Jessie kissed her again, longer this time.

"I'll add another hour," Lisa threatened.

"Then I guess I'd better make this one worth it," Jessie grumbled, climbing out of her position and leaning into the other girl until she hovered over the smaller body. When they kissed this time, she was determined to make it last as long as possible, or at least until her parents got home.


End file.
